Enliven Daily

“The glue that holds all relationships together -- including the relationship between the leader and the led is trust, and trust is based on integrity.”

(Editor’s Note – I have written well over 500 entries since I began this adventure almost 3 years ago.  The journey has taken me many places and these days, my vision and dream of inspiring people has become a reality as I am busier than ever training and teaching.  This, combined with many hours spent with family as well as coaching youth sports, has entries being scaled back to 1-2 a week.)

I once took a class in college called “Values and Choices” and it was one of my favorite courses.  A big part of it was because I think it was co-taught by one of my favorite professors, Dr. Meredith Stanford.  The other reason was that since I was a business major, most of my courses were, go figure, business related; which only carries so much free-thinking and philosophical discussions about integrity, morals and ethics.

(Click Here) to see what has inspired this entry as it restores my faith in our society despite all the bad things we continue to read and hear about daily in the news and on the web.  Would Tiger Woods or Phil Mickelson make the same Choice that Brian Davis did on Sunday?  Financially, this act of utmost integrity potentially cost Davis over $400,000 but I hope you will agree that what he earned in terms of respect from not only his golf peers but anyone who sees this story is priceless.

One of the great things about my job as a corporate trainer is the many people I meet in my travels.  I continue to hear the same themes and concerns as I travel to different companies across many different sectors.  One of the biggest is a feeling from employees that there is a lack of genuine leadership across all areas of their company.  The key emphasis on the word genuine as there is certainly leadership in place and very talented and experienced people in place.  But what many people continue to talk about are the intangibles that they feel leaders at their company lack; with the most important one being the ability to motivate and inspire people as their words do not validate their actions.

You often hear people say you should judge a person when times are tough as opposed to good.  Think of your own life and times when you needed help or were in trouble, who was there for you?  Were/are they the same people that are there for you when times are good?  For example, does Tiger Woods truly know who is friends are?  Before today, I never really had a favorite golfer but after seeing what Brian Davis did in a sport known for its honor, he is now that person.   I came across our opening quote by author and speaker Brian Tracy and it is something that all leaders, in and out of the office should never forget.

“Achievements on the golf course are not what matters, decency and honesty are what matter.”

Tiger Woods was back to playing golf this past weekend (starting last Thursday) and the both the golf and non-golf world was watching.  Despite his long layoff, Tiger is still a master at his craft as he was in the hunt until the very end.  As we all suspected, there were his supporters and those who wanted to take shots at him including a few plane banners that taunted him.  His estranged wife Elin was nowhere to be seen and who could blame her.  But in the end, it was the PGA’s boy scout, Phil Mickelson who took home the “green jacket” as the 2010 Masters champion.

This is the same Phil Mickelson who is rarely seen on tour without his beautiful wife Amy and their kids.  Amy is battling breast cancer but was still able to attend on Sunday as Phil finished with a birdie on the 18^th hole to put the exclamation point on his victory when all eyes and ears were on Tiger for most of the 4 days of coverage.   Now, I don’t know Phil Mickelson or anyone who does and maybe he makes dark Choices in his life as Tiger did/does.  But I doubt it as I think Mickelson gets what life is all about even though he has a lifestyle and career that few of us can relate to.  Maybe Amy’s cancer diagnosis has helped them stay grounded and that is why they seem like a contented family despite winning championships and the challenge that her breast cancer has brought them.

Tiger was once said to have it all; fame, fortune, talent, looks, youth, family, etc.  Now it seems his transgressions are his legacy despite being on Merv Griffin at age 4 and winning so many tournaments.  He will continue to win as his talent for golf is one of the best in the world.  I said it after Thursday that it would be quite a story if the opposite of Tiger won this year’s Masters and who better than his golf arch-rival who Tiger once accused of cheating by using an illegal club.  Karma, poetic justice, call it what you want; but somewhere today, Phil and Amy Mickelson are relaxing and enjoying each other’s company.  I wonder who Tiger is with as I often wonder about those who seek fame and fortune if it is all worth it if you have nobody to share it with.

I wonder how long ago Tiger said our opening quote? 

“When I think of the person that I thought was Bill Clinton, I think he had genuine remorse. When I think of the person that I now see is 100 percent politician, I think he's sorry he got caught.”

I just saw the new Nike commercial featuring the voice of Tiger Woods dead father Earl.  Two words come immediately to mind – creepy and disingenuine.  (Click Here) for a safe link via Comcast to see it as any benefit of the doubt I was willing to give Tiger about making amends for his poor Choices has gone out the window.  He must sign off on ads like this and this is nothing more than an attempt for Nike to get great marketing and Tiger to give fake humility on his behavior.  Like Nike and so many other companies jam down our throat, it’s all about image.  I do not buy it and it further paints Tiger as an insecure little boy who, despite having the greatest talent in golf in the world and may win many tournaments, including this week’s Masters; he is still losing in the game of Life right now.

We have heard our entire lives that actions speak louder than words and Tiger and his handlers are trying to rebuild his image as it is worth billions of dollars.  All the press conferences and hugs with his mother and sighs have showed me nothing as it seems like a big act.  To whom much is given, much is expected but Tiger never learned that and despite the shit-storm he is going through the last 5 months, I still do not think he gets it.  I am glad his wife Elin sees through him too for as much anguish and embarrassment she has had to go through combined with her two children having to grow up with this, it is pretty clear she sees Tiger for who he really is and has checked out as a wife.  Rightfully so.

People ask me all the time about interviews and what they should say or how they should act.  Some so-called experts will advise that you should “sell yourself”.  I do not like this phrase as although people love to buy they do not like being sold.  I recommend “being yourself” and when entering into any new relationship, especially on a first impression, you need to let them see what you are really about, not some act.  Basically you are who you say you are and your actions reinforce that in everything you say and do.  In a nutshell, you are a genuine person in and out of the office, on the field or course and especially when you think nobody may be watching or you might not get caught. 

Tiger has failed many tests of this quality and based on this latest Nike ad, he still does not get it.  He may win the Masters but right now, he is still not a winner in Life.  From the “where are they now category”, how about the opening quote from Monica Lewinsky I stumbled across as it relates to Tiger?

“You know parents are the same, no matter time nor place, they don't understand that us kids are going to make some mistakes.”

Players Play, Coaches Coach, Umpires Officiate and Parents Watch (and Cheer).  One more time - Players Play, Coaches Coach, Umpires Officiate and Parents Watch (and Cheer).  It sounds pretty straightforward and simple doesn’t it?  Yet with baseball season underway and games starting at all levels, it will be only be a matter of time before we start reading, hearing and seeing behavior on and off the fields that make many of our heads spin.  I urge everyone affiliated with your town’s programs to remember this mantra above as it will make the games and our kids better for it.

Over the past few weeks, I have been working with my town’s youth baseball league as I serve as our Vice-President.  Anyone remotely familiar with this space will know my love of coaching but I am taking this year off from this role to hopefully add more value to our entire organization by working with all our coaches.  This year, Pelham (NH) Baseball has partnered with Positive Coaching Alliance and has incorporated their Double-Goal Coaching philosophy.  It has been met with open arms by not only our Board but also the managers we have selected at our Minor and Major league levels. It’s a huge start in developing the culture we want and need in youth sports.

This is only the tip of the iceberg as before the actual games, we all drink the cool aid and sing Cumbaya.  But once the scoreboard is turned on, human competitive nature always comes into play and some of the same people that utter such phrases as “it’s about the kids” and “doesn’t matter if we win or lose as long they have fun” turn into Larry Bird at a 3-point contest and hear Survivor’s Eye of the Tiger playing in their head.  What I mean is that even in games involving 9-12 year old kids, emotions run high and there is screaming all around from coaches and parents to and at each other; to kids, officials even the snack shack volunteers.

So the next time you are at your son or daughters game, try with all your power not to do anything but encourage the players and applaud for good plays – by BOTH teams.  Do not give any last minute batting advice from the stands to your kid, do not yell out where to throw the ball and please please please do not yell or question the umpire.  The coaches and players have everything covered in their roles.  Just sit back and enjoy the game knowing that mistakes are part of the big picture of learning.  And don’t forget the lyrics from our opening quote by Will Smith and the song “Parents Just Don’t Understand”.  Smith wrote this song as a teenager and now he has kids of his own and we all know his kids keep reminding him that he thought his parents didn’t get it either…

“Modern cynics and skeptics... see no harm in paying those to whom they entrust the minds of their children a smaller wage than is paid to those to whom they entrust the care of their plumbing.” 

Not an hour goes by when I am not thinking about my kids.  When they are not with me (at school, practice, at a friend’s house), worrying becomes part of those thoughts.  I am an overprotective father and I will make no apologies for that.  But I am overprotective when it comes to discipline and respect; my kids do not live in bubbles, nor do I micromanage their lives.  But when it comes to my sons fighting with each other and/or showing disrespect to their friends, I always intervene.  That is one of my main jobs as a parent; to teach them right from wrong.

When I am not around my kids, I hope other adults/leaders share my philosophy.  Sadly, I have seen too many teachers, coaches and parents that don’t make the effort or don’t seem to care about this role.  Many want to be a child’s friend or the “cool” one to kids in these roles.  I take great pride in treating other kids when under my supervision as my own; both in safety and education.  There are others, like my son’s new lacrosse coach, that get this and it make you feel great as a parent.

(Click Here) for yet another story from The Boston Globe’s Kevin Cullen where he highlights an adult in a leadership role who did what she knew she had to do.  The sad part of this story was something we all know but many make the Choice to look the other way when it comes to how kids treat other kids.  Teachers and administrators saw the torment that was going on and did not step in as they should have.  They must now live with that Choice, or lack thereof, for the rest of their lives.  I hope everyone can learn a lesson from this tragedy.

Kids can be very cruel, especially teenagers who desperately want the freedom of adulthood but without the consequences for mistakes they may make.  Teens are also longing to be accepted and will transform into something else in order to gain it; could be alcohol, drugs, sex, graffiti, violence, vandalism or bullying where as long as there is a weaker target, they are not the target.  Unfortunately, we are not able to have much influence on how parents teach their kids at home.  But as administrators, teachers, coaches and adults who witness things, we must all be more diligent in our roles and responsibilities.  Like we read above, a child’s life may depend on it.

Our opening quote by John F. Kennedy points out what was true 40 years ago just as it is today with how some place a value on education.  

I may start a new segment of a story from my youth and how a similar situation is handled today.  The year was 1986 and it was the middle of May.  I know this exactly as it was the morning of my high school graduation and my brother Al and I just went golfing at Unicorn golf course in Stoneham, Massachusetts as my graduation was either earlier that week (on a weeknight) or later that morning.  Either way, later that afternoon was my graduation party.  Later in this entry, I will share a story I just read in yesterday’s Lawrence Eagle Tribune as it was handled much differently than mine.

Al was 24 at the time and I was 18 and we were driving home on Route 28 in Stoneham.  He was driving and we saw a pretty girl/woman riding her bike on my left (Editor’s Note – although I say “girl” above, she looked at least 18 and may have even been in her 20’s; this was not a child).  Like typical young males, we noticed her nice figure from behind and my brother got closer (not too close, she was in no danger) and I waved my hand out the window pretending to pinch her butt.  And we giggled like the immature punks we were behaving like.  Now the fun part.

All of sudden, some lunatic flies up beside us in his car and starts screaming at me.  This guy had rage in his eyes and all I could make out was that the girl on the bike was his sister.  Not sure if steroids were prominent back then but this guy in his tank top t-shirt was ripped and ready for a brawl.  He yells at me so I yell back at him.  He spits at me so I spit back at him.  He pulls in front of us; locks on his breaks and I proceed to shit my pants.  He comes to my window and takes a shot at me which I block and is screaming that we could have hurt his sister.  We told him we were just goofing around and he throws another shot to which my brother apologizes and tells him to end it.  I apologized too and luckily this ended there as it could have gotten uglier.  My brother’s response to me – “Happy Graduation!”

(Click Here) for the story that triggered this memory and make your own assessment.  Read the comments too (see number next to title and click on it) as they are pretty funny.  Do you think we told our mom about our incident back in 1986 or even made up a nicer version? Heck no; as if there was ever an altercation involving me or any of my brothers, she knew we were never innocent victims.  And if we told her truthfully what happened, she would have replied something to the effect of “you got what you deserved”.  And she would have been 100% right!  If you like this story, be sure to read yesterday’s about the party that sprung up as a kid went to his vacant house to feed his cat.

Road rage is unacceptable and if people assault others, they should be held accountable.  But based on what I am reading in this story, I think it took two to tango.  Even the police state that there are conflicting witness reports and their impartial determination is that both drivers made inappropriate Choices.  If this was Massachusetts, this would be ruled “no-fault”, end of story.  We are living in different times with parents having different views on how to teach their kids. 

Story time is over for the week, hope you enjoyed it.  No opening quote today but a bonus clip as I wrote this entry last night and awoke to the following story on Fox News.  (Click Here) to view it and ask yourself what you would have done if you were Mark Cronin as you note he wanted to set an example for his 3 children.  Thank you Mark for restoring my faith in parenting and humanity for that matter.

“Hey Mrs. Douglas, I think I finally know what I want to be when I grow up. Oh? And what's that? … Rich!!!”

On Tuesday, I talked about how up to 5 different generations may be in the workplace these days.  By logic, it is also in our communities and as we break it down further, we have members who are part of one generation, raising and teaching those of a different generation.  For example, at age 42, I am considered part of Generation X but am on the cusp of the Baby Boomer generation where most dates have that for people born between 1946-1965.  As a Gen X’er, I have my views on life and everything else and they are much different than those of the Boomer Generation as well as that generation before (The Traditionalists or Silent Generation) and after me (Gen Y).  As a parent and coach these days, I am teaching members of the Millennial Generation who also look at things much different than all the other generations (but are close to Gen Y in both age and views).

There is way too much to fit in one entry to explain the differences but when you read about when people were raised and what events impacted their views, it becomes clearer why there are conflicts in and out of work as well as why so many people younger (in age) than you make the Choices they do.  (Click Here) to read an example of a Gen X parent and her Gen Y/Millennial child and I for one am not the least bit surprised at what happened both before, during and after these events.  Please click over and read the story now and then read my close below.  Thank you.

Did we all read what we thought we read about a parent going to Europe and leaving son with friends and relatives?  He was just going to let the cat out and people showed up?  He was afraid to call the cops?  Who were the friends and relatives that he was staying with that were not concerned when he never came home from pouring some Meow Mix?  Let’s think how my parents would have handled this.  Number 1, they never went on vacation during the school year or if they did, my grandmother or other relative stayed with us, in my house as they did not want to interrupt our routine during school.  Number 2, if we ever had a party (and they found out), you wish the cops arrested you compared to what my parents would do.  Finally, number 3 and the biggest one of all unlike this story, my parents would have held me 100% accountable for what happened along with whoever was watching me and not believed the bullshit story that this kid is trying to pass off.

Yes the kids that damaged the house are scumbags but they will get what they deserve one day if they do not smarten up.  I went to many a house party when I was in high school where parents were away and some tried to get crashed but there were always the cooler and smarter heads that prevailed.  Sadly, there is not a mutual respect taught to kids these days combined with accountability for their actions.  Well I can tell you that there is one Gen X’er (me) and many other coaches I know that are working to change that every time a kid steps on our court and field.  The great news is that today’s kids want it and embrace it. The bad news… way too many of the parents still don’t freakin get it. 

It was tough but I was able to get an opening quote was from the movie “That Was Then… This is Now”.

“Do you fight the fights you can win or do you fight the fights that need fighting?”

Think about any conflict you have in your life, especially with people you seem to have major problems with both in and out of your job.  I am talking people you clash with or just do not like or respect with regards to how they conduct themselves.  Do you have a vision of one or a hundred of those people in your life?  I can tell you, if you have a hundred people coming to mind, as much as the issue may be on their side, we must realize it takes two to tango.  But for now, let’s focus on why we have conflict with people and when you boil it all down, it just about always comes down to one of two things or a combination of the two.  They are…

Poor communication and expectations not being met.  Step back and think of this for a moment.  Any person who you seem to not get along with or not be around, what happened, why did it happen?  Somewhere in the process there was lack of communication, no communication or interpretations made and that caused a further divide.  Maybe there was some expectation that one side or the other had about what should occur and it didn’t, was not met or was the opposite of what should have happened.  Finally, there are just some people in the world that make bad Choices and are arrogant, selfish, mean, disrespectful or any combination of these and always treat conflict as a win/lose event and they will try to win at any and all cost.  These are the toughest people to deal with as conflict will be unavoidable and it can get nasty.

We live in sensitive times where the PC (political correctness) meter has swung to the extreme and everybody jumps on anything and everything they deem potentially offensive.  We are also living in a time of mistrust where executives, politicians, religious leaders, teachers, coaches, parents, spouses, athletes and the list goes on have made the Choice to lie, cheat and/or give into temptation.  Let’s face it, we have short fuses and who can blame us?  Inappropriate behavior is still a Choice and when confronted with who we feel are difficult people; we can accept it or address it.  Figure out if it is a battle you believe is worth or needs fighting and then make your Choice. 

I know the answer when asked the question in our opening quote from the movie “The American President”; what’s yours?  

“Looks like I picked the wrong week to give up amphetamines!”

I am back after a few days without entries.  All is well as work and travel have been busy and I had some Choices to make when it came to an entry.  For the last few business days I have been at a client and in the past, I have written an entry the night before and posted it or pasted one from a past year.  Last week, between various other commitments, it would be 11pm and I was just settling into bed and was exhausted.  I am not a morning person and despite a slight attempt to get up extra early (5:30am), it was not happening.  I have a lull for the rest of the week and it is good to be back as there have been lots going on.

We got healthcare, Tiger, Spring and so on and the more I watch TV and read the news, the more I am convinced that our society is turning into one giant PR and Marketing fest.  This past week, I have been teaching class on generational diversity in the workplace and it has been a blast.  For those not familiar with this topic, it focuses on how there are up to 5 different generations of people possibly working together at any given company.  There could be a 70 year old person just about to retire working alongside or with a 19 year old recent high school graduate getting his first experience in a corporate or business setting.  There are also generations in between that make up most employees and wow do they look at things differently.

As I talk to so many people in and out of workshops, I continue to marvel at the similar perspective and challenges everyone has when dealing with co-workers, bosses, directs, family, friends and community.  What is truly rewarding for me is helping them try to understand why others may share different views than us.  Depending on the time we were raised in terms of one’s personal outlook, world events, etc. we naturally grow up with a certain perspective.  A person growing up in the 1930’s and 40’s will naturally look at things different than someone born in 1990.  Just like so many things in life, there is no one best group (or way, style, type, etc.); each generation has positives and challenges, in and out of the office.

People are still people despite age, technology, race, religion, sex or political affiliation.  Times do change and we all have different needs at different levels from a physical, mental and spiritual perspective.  If we build relationships in our lives based on trust, acceptance and mutual respect combined with a zero tolerance when people abuse these values, less people will use phrases like our opening quote from the movie “Airplane”. 

“Come to the Darkside Luke!”

Many times in this space, I refer to a column written by Kevin Cullen of the Boston Globe.  I had the opportunity to meet Kevin once through a mutual friend and he was instantly one of the most genuine people I have ever met in my life.  As a writer, Kevin easily tells it like it is and does not shy away from difficult topics.   The thing I like most about him and the way he writes is that he is usually pointing out the proverbial “pink elephant in the corner”.  By the way, for those who may not know what this expression represents as I did not when I was in my 20’s, it means pointing out the blatantly obvious that people seem to avoid wanting to bring up.

(Click Here) for Kevin’s latest piece as I heard vaguely about Ronan Tynan no longer being welcome by the Yankees but did not know the reason behind it until now.  I also did not know Tynan’s background and what he has to overcome in his life.  No wonder this minor setback, despite how it most likely really hurt him inside, has not kept him down.  It is yet another example of things usually happening to certain people for a reason and that others can learn from it.  In this case, the leadership/ownership of the New York Yankees has shown the world that despite a whole lot of money and some recent great results, you can still be a loser.

The sensitivity pendulum in society today has swung to another extreme where too many want to be the verbal police and scream discrimination or offensive every chance they get.  I know that offensiveness if like beauty; it’s in the eye of the beholder, and I can accept that.  What I cannot accept is the Choice by Yankee management on how they handled the situation.  One of the main things I teach in a leadership class if for leaders to always gather facts and hear both or even 3 sides to a story or incident before forming an opinion, or worse disciplining.  Based on this story, the Yankees chose not to and their loss is Boston’s gain.

This reminds me of a time when a senior executive once asked me if I was starting a cult at our company. Someone saw an email I wrote to my new team that had our opening quote from “Star Wars” in it inviting them to a meeting.  Instead of a peer coming to talk to me, this person forwarded to another executive and so on up the ranks until this senior person got it.  He actually thought I was already forming a union.  During that same conversation, this person shared some other gossip they heard that they also took as truth without ever asking me my side.  I was not surprised when this same senior leader was let go within the next year.  It was not based on the incident with me but if their track record is to believe and act on everything they hear without following up personally, something will always have to give one way or the other.

Welcome to Boston, Ronan, glad to have ya!

“The productivity of work is not the responsibility of the worker but of the manager.”

The perfect storm is hitting office productivity this week as we have St. Patrick’s Day falling on a Wednesday and the NCAA basketball tournament beginning Thursday at noon and going pretty-much nonstop through Sunday.  With a last name of Longo, I never really got into the St Patrick’s Day festivities but ever since college, I would go out of my way to watch the first round of the NCAA’s.  For a few years after graduating, my buddy John Evans and I would take a sick/personal day on either the Thursday, the Friday or both and hang all day seeing how our brackets would do.  I would also root my hardest against UConn as this was John’s team (despite being from Boston’s south shore), just to torture him.

There are reports and estimates a plenty about how much this loss of productivity will cost as it is based mainly on the NCAA’s.  Factor in St Patrick’s Day with people taking the day off, partying all night and/or being hung-over on Thursday (hey – bang in sick and watch some hoops), that number gets even larger.  But what else you will read is that this distraction can also be a good thing for employees who are under much stress or doing more with less these days.  Like so many things in life, it is all on how you look at it, the Choice is yours.

As a manager or leader in a company, you have the most impact on your employees’ attitudes and performance.  If they respect you as a leader and person and you are who say you are based on your actions, you will be fine this week.  But if you are one of those “do as I say, not as I do” leaders who forbids his team from these distractions but spends all their time checking their own brackets, you will have nobody to blame but yourself when your employees eventually leave or do not produce. 

Enjoy the rest of your week and embrace what lies ahead.  Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day if this day is special to you and if you love hoops as much as I do, enjoy the tournament (although, I missed the boat on this one as I am at a client all day Thursday and Friday.  Next year I am putting these dates in my calendar as “out of office”).  Find the balance to your work commitment and your fun commitment but be careful using work computers to check your brackets as companies are cracking down; even though your boss may be doing it too.  If you are a manager, no worries; just heed the words of Peter Drucker from our opening quote.

“Now we all have a great need for acceptance, but you must trust that your beliefs are unique, your own, even though others may think them odd or unpopular, even though the herd may go, ‘that's baaaaad’."

Do most people seek fame and fortune?  With the death last week of former child star Corey Haim, it brings up yet another sad case of what happens to so many thrust into the spotlight at an early stage.  There are countless other examples of both kids who grew up into demon-facing adults as well as former stars who are struggling with no longer being in the news.  Gary Coleman (“what you talking about Willis?”), Danny Bonaduce from The Partridge Family and Maureen McCormack (Marcia) from the Brady Bunch have all been in and out of the news over the years with either tell-all stories of their childhood or their current struggles.

Maybe the pros outweigh the cons in this lifestyle as we see more and more people wanting to capture their 15 minutes of fame with the hopes it can lead to their own star status.  There are reality shows a plenty and YouTube videos everywhere with people saying and doing outrageous things.  We have women having 8 kids and then doing the talk show circuit or Dancing with the Stars.  There are disgraced former governors or their wives living on a island and last but not least, there is Kirstie Alley and her new show chronicling her life and based on clips I have seen, it is sad to see how a person is portraying themselves for money, ratings or whatever her motivation is for doing this.

Whether you are 5 years old and starting kindergarten or 40 years old working at a job or living in your community; we all experience some or all of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, especially the top four.  Think about who you are and what you want in your life.  What or who is your life about and why?   If fame and fortune is what you seek, good luck and be careful as there are too many oncoming trains that are the light at the end of the tunnel.  For our kids, acceptance is a big part of their life in everyone they meet, just like we heard in our opening quote from the movie “Dead Poets Society”.      

“I put a dollar in one of those change machines.  Nothing changed.”

Just like my parents said 30 years ago and their parents said 30 years before that and so on… we are living in different times.  I am approaching this not only as a parent but also as a coach and teacher.  The opportunities and challenges I had as a pre-teen and teen were similar to those that these same groups face today; except there are many more and they seem to be accelerated.  (Click Here) for the latest story involving students and cell phones that should have everyone concerned.

My two sons are currently in 6^th and 4^th respectively and I have a vivid memory of what my life was like when I was their age.  In 6^th grade, a few of my friends experimented with alcohol.  I had a few classmates who smoked.  Boys and girls were dating, including yours truly who still remembers learning how to “French-kiss” through a baptism by fire when my then 7^th grade girlfriend said goodbye to me and I swear almost took out my tonsils.  I am pretty sure not much of this has changed today although based on data I have seen, smoking and drinking are down a little which is a good sign. 

I am sure based on the first paragraph that you know what is up.   When I was in 6^th grade (1980), we did not have the Internet or cell phones (there may have been cell phones available but only the Gordon Gekko's of the world were using them for business).  Note the most telling line from the story above from the police – “Technological advances have surpassed our preparedness in educating children as to the dangers and negative effects such activities may promote.’’

The reality is that many kids are more technologically savvy than their parents; which means they have more access to information, both helpful and harmful.  The last thing any kid should have to do is grow up too fast.  Their minds can only process so much and most do not having the maturity to handle what is out there such as sex, drugs and alcohol combined with age old dilemmas of peer pressure, self-esteem and bullying.  This means that today’s kids are facing the same struggles kids always have from one generation to the next… except it has just been accelerated.

To help with this, we must continue to be diligent with all our children and not expect it to happen as referenced in our opening quote by comedic genius George Carlin.

(Editor’s Note – I recommend reading yesterday’s entry first as it sets up this one.)

“I've known Bob Rumson for years, and I've been operating under the assumption that the reason Bob devotes so much time and energy to shouting at the rain was that he simply didn't get it. Well, I was wrong. Bob's problem isn't that he doesn't get it. Bob's problem is that he can't sell it! We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious people to solve them. And whatever your particular problem is, I promise you, Bob Rumson is not the least bit interested in solving it. He is interested in two things and two things only: making you afraid of it and telling you who's to blame for it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win elections. You gather a group of middle-aged, middle-class, middle-income voters who remember with longing an easier time, and you talk to them about family and American values and character… We've got serious problems, and we need serious people, and if you want to talk about character, Bob, you'd better come at me with more than a burning flag and a membership card. If you want to talk about character and American values, fine. Just tell me where and when, and I'll show up. This is a time for serious people, Bob, and your fifteen minutes are up.”

I left the corporate sector a few years ago because I was frustrated to the point it was affecting my health.  Since then, my health has been fantastic and went on to build a career training and consulting with companies to help them in the areas of leadership and client service.  The same things that frustrated me are still occurring in companies and groups everywhere and are further compounded by a weak economy and loss of jobs.  I created Enliven First with the motto – “Inspire First, Results Will Follow”, as I have seen both professionally and personally that this is the best way to reach your goals.

To take this concept further, I have learned that 2 factors drive inspiration and many times we overlook the second one.  I think we all think of inspiration as a positive circumstance like hearing someone who overcame odds or raising money for a great cause.  Think Babe Ruth hitting the home run for the sick kid or Scott Brown winning in Massachusetts.   This is the “hope” side that drives inspiration.  But then we have inspiration that occurs when people are desperate or angry like the person who summons extreme strength to lift a car off a loved one.  Think about our founding fathers standing up to England to gain independence.  This is the “fear” side that drives inspiration.  Both can cause (inspire) people to want to act and make Choices.

This is where my town, Pelham, New Hampshire is these days.  People are fired up and on the one side; it is the hope for a new school, fire station and growth of services and structures in the town for the future.  On the other side is the fear that higher taxes will hurt them and the new buildings will not be worth it or even unsafe (those against the new high school produced information that it was near dangerous power lines or on poor land despite opinions from the contrary by consultants).  Regardless of the side you were on, there was passion, Choices and tactics exhibited by many to get people to vote their way.

When it came time to vote, which inspiration had the most impact?  The great news is that hope was more prevalent over fear as 58% of the town voted in favor of the high school.  But because of a supermajority (60% votes) needed to pass articles involving a bond, the high school did not pass.  Sadly, there are voters that do not take the time to learn information to make an informed decision and relied on what they hear and/or read.  Those that are inspired by hope mostly voted yes and those who were inspired by fear, voted no. 

We are living in uncertain times and many people are afraid of what shoe is going to fall next.    For the 600 people that voted no on grant money to fix roads, shame on each and every one of them for abusing their civic right and responsibility.  For those who used fear to influence voters, it may have worked this time but just like it ended in the movie “The American President” from our opening quote, their time is up!  (Click Here) for one of the greatest clips in (my opinion) movie history.

“Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.”

It’s good to be back after a few days off.  All is well with family and work just very busy so instead of throwing some stuff together or posting old entries, I took a few days off from writing to recharge the creative juices.  I was hoping today’s entry would be a celebration as my town had one of its most important votes last night with a much needed new high school and fire station on the ballot among other things.  The last year, especially the last few months, have been very heated in our town with battle lines drawn, sides being taken and information flooding the masses.  As you may have guessed from how I started this, none of it passed and even more frustrating was how close it was.

We needed a 60% majority since these two structures would be paid with bond money and despite a huge voter turnout, the yes vote on the high school received about 58.5% for yes, missing by about 84 votes.  The fire station was also close but I am not sure on the exact numbers as it is important to me but the school was priority 1.  Our town, Pelham, New Hampshire, is what’s known as a bedroom community as we have about 14,000 residents and very little business in town.  Hence, our property tax pays for just about everything in town.  Schools, fire stations, police officers, teachers, etc. will cause taxes to raise some and nobody likes to pay high taxes. 

I voted yes on just about everything as I base my decision from a financial perspective as well as doing what is right.  Our high school is over 30 years old and falling apart.  We are also on accreditation warning, with much of it due to the structure and poor learning space.  Ditto for fire station that is outdated now that our town has grown.  Our police and other town staff have not had raises and the supervisors (aka leadership) are also being denied standard of living increases, despite the pennies it would cost us as townspeople.  I am glad our founding father and others fought for every citizen’s right to vote but the reality is that some people need to lose rights if they abuse or do not take them seriously.  Just like drunk drivers should lose their license, I believe abusive and unfit parents should not be able to have kids.  Teachers, coaches, priests and others who abuse their position should never be able to hold it again. Politicians who break laws or violate ethics should not be allowed to serve. 

Finally, people who do not respect the voting process or take it seriously should lose their right.  I know this last one cannot happen as unlike the rest, it is hard to prove but move to Pelham, New Hampshire and you will know what I mean.  We had about 650 people that voted “No” on grant money to 100% cover the cost to repair a road or parking lot.  This is the indicator of the people who every year never read the ballot and vote “No” across the board.  It still passed but what does this tell you about some people?  How do you vote “No” on money given to your town to make it better?  The sad answer is “when all your care about is yourself” because too many people don’t get our opening quote from Martin Luther King Jr.

Tomorrow I will pick up from here to focus on the title as people were very inspired during this vote both for and against certain things.