“A good manager doesn't try to eliminate conflict; he tries to keep it
from wasting the energies of his people. If you're the boss and your people
fight you openly when they think that you are wrong - that's healthy.”
Does anybody not have conflict in their life at any level?Let’s look at some of the possibilities:
Family – where do you want to start?If married, you may have two sets of families
to factor in for holidays, etc.Throw in
some kids and their events and it can further compound things.Sprinkle in divorce somewhere and this recipe
could have you with many conversations; some not so fun.
Job – Does anyone have the perfect job or better yet the
perfect boss?If you do, congratulations
as you are in the minority but I urge you to embrace it and never let that feeling
change.Mix in the economy, outsourcing
and 4 different generations in the workforce and you have disagreements and
misunderstanding a plenty.
Community – You are not able to pick your neighbors and
depending on the size of your city or town, just about everybody has an opinion
on how things should be run.Does your neighbor
have kids or pets and what is their philosophy on how they run around and so
on?
These days, my life has a ton of things going on and I am
thankful every day for the great immediate family (wife and kids) and extended
family and friends I have.My dad who is
in his late 70’s and remarried has some health issues which require a lot of input
and communication between his wife and my siblings and me.So far all so good based on his prognosis and
how we are all dealing with it.My kids
are healthy and getting older so their education is always a focus combined with
their numerous extracurricular activities which my wife and I have a great
balance.
I work for myself which has its pros and cons but I have a
great business partner that provides me clients and my clients, old and new are
awesome.But I talk and email with too
many people who have a ton of conflict in their jobs between bosses and peers.Finally, the communities in which we live and
my town is heated these days with a huge March vote on a new high school the
hot topic.It is getting nasty between
those that want it and those that don’t.As kids get older and more involved in activities, especially sports,
tensions rise when it comes to coaches and playing time at all levels.
I will never claim to have all the answers but the one thing
I know for sure is that communication is crucial in all the above areas.People may not always agree but if they are
talking, it is always better than not talking and even worse when we assume
(and do we all know what happens when we assume?).Finally, as my wife told me one time and was probably
the best advice I have ever received – “don’t
try to tell people how to feel”.Despite my initial attempt at rebuttal to this claim, she was and is
100% correct.We should never tell
people how to feel but as I finally figured out, we certainly can try to
inspire them how to.
Not all conflict is bad as sometimes it is needed to get a
solution or bring closure.Looking for
win/win and not making it personal while increasing communication will lead to
less stress for all involved.Our opening quote by William Townsend gives
us some good advice.
