“I understand that you little guys start out with your woobies and you think they're great... and they are, they are terrific. But pretty soon, a woobie isn't enough. You're out on the street trying to score an electric blanket, or maybe a quilt. And the next thing you know, you're strung out on bedspreads Ken. That's serious.”
Or worse yet are you a “Black Hawk”? (Click Here) for the definition of these two terms if you are not aware of their meanings for if you currently have a child less than 25 years old – you may be one. As I write about often, my intent is to not come across judgmental in this space but I will always have an opinion on topics I am passionate about and parenting is at the top of this list. I have seen more than my share of helicopter parents as I have worked professionally in student affairs, taught in elementary and junior high classrooms and been involved in coaching youth sports since I was 14 years old. I have also had my own instances of helicoptering or micromanaging with my own kids, mainly as it pertained to sports.
If you think this is only happening with little kids, you could not be further from the truth. Human Resource professionals can tell you countless stories of parents that attend their college graduate’s job interviews as well as ones (maybe the same) that have called after the interview to share how qualified and special their child is and why they are the right person for the job. I have also spoken with a manager who was once called by the mom of one his staff members after reprimanding the employee for being late 6 times in a month.
(Click Here) for another example of a parent who seems a little over the top with her involvement in her child’s life. (Editor’s Note – I did not post this video and this is a safe link to Youtube and has nothing inappropriate but there are some stupid comments below it, just ignore them). Watch it now if you can as it will help illustrate my next point. Are you back? I was watching this game live on Tuesday night and as soon as this play happened, I noticed and commented on the woman who leaped up into the fray and then Boston’s Kevin Garnett and Cleveland’s Lebron James both confronted her with James yelling at her. It made sense a little later on in the telecast when the announcers said it was James’ mother. (Click Here) if you want the story as to what was said between mother and son.
Now before any moms out there start getting fired up, let me explain. I am all in favor of parents protecting their kids as my parents were and are like grizzly bears even though they are both in their 70’s right now. If you ever messed with their cubs (children), you were risking your life, plain and simple. But they did not “helicopter” over my siblings and me and allowed us to make Choices and learn from them, even if they felt it would lead to mistakes. Maybe it was instinct but Lebron James’ mom’s actions were not appropriate (although neither was his reaction to her, story for another time). Kids on and off the field are going to get in confrontations with other kids and just as we saw with these big kids (James and Celtic Paul Pierce) towards the end of the clip, they worked it out rather quickly and did not need their parents to get involved.
I will pick up here tomorrow as some cases are not this simple, especially when it comes to bullying and teen fighting but this clip and example was too good to pass up especially with Game 5 happening tonight in Boston. Did I mention that the Celtic’s have a player nicknamed “Big Baby”? I wonder if his mom is going to the game. Better yet, does he still carry a “woobie” like the boy in our opening quote from another all-time classic movie – “Mr. Mom”, starring Michael Keaton?
For more information on helicopter parents and/or the role parents play in sports, I recommend visiting both www.parentalwisdom.com and www.positivecoach.org.