Enliven Daily

“You find that you have peace of mind and can enjoy yourself, get more sleep, rest when you know that it was a one hundred percent effort that you gave - win or lose.”

As I have written about before, I am a supporter of an organization called Positive Coaching Alliance (PCA) which has taught me a ton on helping kids learn and grow on and off the fields and courts.  Their founder, Jim Thompson has written a bunch of books and I am currently reading The High School Sports Parent even though my oldest is 2+ years away.  The recommendations and concepts are fantastic and not just geared towards high school kids as there are things parents should learn for any age child playing sports.  (Click Here) for a quick blurb on this book as well as information should you want to purchase it.

Along these lines, over the past few years, I have seen a growing trend in youth sports as it relates to kids’ attitudes on the court.  I call it the “pouty syndrome” as when kids make a mistake or error, physical or mental; they show their frustration with words, body language or both.  This is basketball season and this weekend in games I was coaching and watching I saw it at all levels from 4^th grade through 8^th grade.  One example is the bad pass to a teammate on offense that leads to a turnover and the player who made the pass putting his hands up as if to say “what are you doing?” or “what did I do?” and then not hustling back to defense pouting for the next few minutes.   Another is the constant whining about fouls not being called against them and again, the lack of hustle back to defense.

I can tell you, referees are getting frustrated by this new child athlete attitude as I was talking to a few at halftime of my son’s game (I was doing the clock, not coaching).  Both referees commented that a few kids on both teams (6^th graders) kept complaining about the ref’s calls and non-calls.  They said if it continued in the 2^nd half, they would hand out a technical foul to the player which is rare at these levels.  Sure enough, 2 minutes into this half, a player whose team was up by about 15 points, missed a shot and looked at the ref and said “where’s the foul”?  TWEET!!!!! – Technical Foul!  And the ref was 100% correct on both his non-foul call and giving out the “T” (little bonus hoop lingo as this is what you call technical fouls for short).  

To buck this trend, like just about everything involving children, it must first start at home.  As a coach, unless it is my own children, I am not in the home but I do have much influence when my players come to my sports home – which is the court or field in which I am the coach.  Discipline is not a bad word, it means to teach and discipline is a staple of every team I coach.  Before you think I am a drill instructor, I also mix in equal parts of fun as in my mind, when it comes to just about everything, but especially sports, I do not care how much you win, if we can’t have fun doing it, why bother doing it?

Jim Thompson, founded PCA based on a “Double-Goal Coaching” model where winning is one goal and honoring the game is the second one.  He also stresses that you never sacrifice the second goal to achieve your first.  In the High School Sports Parent, Jim also talks about developing the “Triple-Impact Competitor” where athletes aspire to make self, teammates and the game better.  I can’t think of any reason where pouting and mouthing off to referees supports any of these goals.  Coaches who can inspire the “Triple Impact Competitor” attitude in kids on the courts and fields will be helping them after the games are over too.  Although winning is important to me, I put much more emphasis on the attitude and effort my players give.  If they give 100% like our opening quote from hockey legend Gordie Howe, the rest usually takes care of itself.