Enliven Daily

It has been a great long weekend and now I am traveling on Monday so today's post will be later in the afternoon.

“Now we all have a great need for acceptance, but you must trust that your beliefs are unique, your own, even though others may think them odd or unpopular, even though the herd may go, ‘that's baaaaad.’ Robert Frost said, ‘Two roads diverged in the wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference’."

Today is referred to as “Black Friday” as it has become one of the busiest and craziest shopping days of the year as people try to secure deals and hard to get items for the holidays.  It becomes one of the top news stories as people camp out for hours to be first in line to get the products they desire.  In years past, there have been tragic stories of people getting hurt or killed as selfish, ignorant shoppers trampled in with no regard for anyone or anything but their own greed and gluttony.  Another story that caught my eye the past few days is the wanna-be reality couple that was able to crash the big White House dinner earlier this week.  My question on both these topics – what drives people to make these Choices?

For shoppers, I think a big part of it is the cultural phenomenon now associated with it and people wanting and needing to be part of it.  It is a badge of honor when you can tell people “yep, I left my family at noon on Thanksgiving Day and have been camping out in front of Best Buy since then.”  In other words screaming out “look at me, give me attention, I am part of all this, f’ yeah, I am finally accepted and part of something special!”  These are the same people that bought those dorky waist fanny packs in the 80’s once they saw some of their neighbors wearing them.  Shopping and getting deals is like a big life competition.  We all know people that have to know what you paid for your car or mortgage or appliances so they can tell you where it was cheaper or how theirs is lower.  Same with Black Friday shopping; many people can’t wait to seek attention for the great deals they got. 

As for the coupe, that crashed the White House, the balloon boy parents have answered this question for us.  But they aren’t the biggest asses in all this; Joe Biden takes that prize as he saw a pretty blonde and could not wait to mug it up with her as his smile was just creepy.  I have said it before and will repeat it again; we are probably 3 years away from a live execution reality show.  Think about it, you get 10 people and they are all guaranteed a $1,000,000.  All 10 names are put into a bucket on live TV and the one whose name is drawn gets executed on live TV by method of their Choice – firing squad, poison, electrocution, they pick!!!  The other 9 get their million and the family of the dead idiot, keeps his or hers.  Admit, it, some of you are nodding your head right now, saying, “holy crap, he might be right!”

Why?  Same reasons people camp out in the rain to go shopping and adults crash White House parties that was summed up in our opening quote by the great Robin Williams in the movie “Dead Poet’s Society”.

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow; Learn as if you were to live forever.”

(Editor’s Note – this is a continuation from yesterday’s entry so if you have not read that yet, we recommend scrolling down and starting there).

Some people should not be coaches – that is the plain, hard truth.  Sadly, many who are horrible at coaching, especially kids, think they are good at it.  The balancing act needed to be a great coach between winning, having fun, teaching and playing time is as tough as it comes.  Combine that with almost all coaches being volunteers and having full-time jobs and other responsibilities and you can see why constant challenges and issues arise in youth sports programs.  But like so many other things in life, these are excuses and we should not accept them.  Creating a positive experience in youth sports can be accomplished despite the many obstacles that come up.

One of the biggest challenges is when coaches have their own child on the team.  The fact is that very rarely do coaches have the right evaluation of their own child – they either overvalue or undervalue their ability and talent.  Both are mistakes and the person who gets hurt the most by this is always the child and that should never happen.  For example, Coach A thinks his kid is the superstar because he saw him hit line drives one day at the batting cages or always throw strikes in the backyard.  Yet come practices and game day, this kid is clearly in the bottom tier of his team.  Yet Coach/Dad continues to bat him third in the lineup and pitch him as much as he can despite the kid walking the park and leading the team in strikeouts.  To make the scenario worse, some kids do not work to improve nor respect the game which everyone else (except Coach/Dad) sees.

On the other hand, we have Coach B who has a very talented child but wants to make sure nobody can ever accuse him of favoritism so he is much harder on his son than all the other kids.   The kid works his tail off and gives everything he has but nothing ever seems good enough for his Coach/Dad.  Everyone can see the anxiety the kid has and mistakes that result which further frustrates everyone.  To make this scenario worse, the kid rarely enjoys playing and eventually (like recent studies show up to 70%) by age 13, the kid gives up playing any type of organized youth sport. 

I have seen both coaches far too often and if you are wondering, I was never like Coach A and was a version of Coach B.  Thankfully, my sons have always respected the game and practice and play hard.  There are some coaches that have managed to balance this and it is a win/win for everyone involved.  Sadly, there are always the pessimists and snipers that will spew their venom and opinions but those people have their own issues and demons they must face as their way of dealing with them is to try to put the focus on others.  Karma has a way of dealing with these people and I try not to give them the attention they desperately crave. 

It is Thanksgiving and I am ever so thankful for all that I have in my life, especially my family and friends.  I learn more and more every day about people, values and trying to help others.  I have never claimed to be the perfect coach, father, husband or friend but I strive to be the best I can.  Our opening anonymous quote is also something I try to do.

Have a Happy and Safe Thanksgiving Day!!! Be back on Friday.

“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.”

I love my kids and wife more than anything in this world.  They are my life and my main source of happiness.  Our family is far from perfect but this is the perfect family for me.  Sports have been a huge part of my life since I was old enough to hold a bat or throw a ball.  My children and wife share that same passion and have all made those Choices on their own although I often wonder if I led my boys to it with how much sports I play and watch.  But then I see other friends who share my same sports interest and their kids are not as interested so I feel better.  I take pride that I have always allowed my kids to choose what and when they want to play and never forced anything on them.  I do require that if they do sign-up for a team, they give it their full commitment and unless there is a valid reason (safety, abusive coach, they hate it, etc.), they finish any given season.  My boys have always done this.  As much as I do not enjoy soccer, they wanted to play and I was there to watch until they chose football over it (same seasons).  I played hockey growing up and love the sport and my boys wanted to try it but made the Choice not to play after a few seasons.  No problem.

These days, my boys just turned 12 and 10 years old and I have coached them both in hockey, football, basketball and baseball.   We have had many successful seasons, a few undefeated ones and some championships both in the town leagues and most recently, at the state level.  I love coaching and teaching, I know it is what I was born to do which is extra special as I now built a career doing it as a trainer and consultant.  But being a coach’s kid is not easy and unless you are or were one, you will never be able to relate to it.  (Click Here) for the story of a college football coach who is going through this right now and my heart goes out to him.

Many who know me saw the challenges my oldest son and I had as coach and player.  Most of it was obviously my fault as he is just a kid.  We are very alike in our personalities which can be a blessing and a curse.  He is also my first born and like so many first born children, they strive to be the best and have the weight of the world on their shoulders.  My oldest will never admit it but I know I make him nervous when he is playing, even now that I am not coaching.  He is like any child who desperately wants to impress his parent but I think it is even more pressure for boys with dads and doubly more when it comes to sports.  My son is no different than me as even at age 41 and earning a college degree, having a great family and career, I still look for my old man’s approval in life as do so many males, regardless of age, despite most not wanting to admit it.

My youngest son; he has a much different personality than my oldest.  While my oldest is very serious and driven, my youngest is the charmer and laissez faire.  Oh he shares his brother’s competitive drive and athletic ability as both do very well in sports.  Coaching him was easier as he did not let my constructive feedback bother him but he too wants to please me so much so that he always has one eye on me while playing a game or practice.   So although I am not coaching my kids at the NCAA level like the story above, I can 100% relate to the pressure that the child of a coach faces as well as what it does to that parent-coach.

I am not saying that parent’s should not coach their own kid because most of the great coaches have kids in the program and we should not have other kids miss out on what they can offer.  But I also realize that your family’s best interest must come first and despite the great job you may do with an entire team, if it comes at the expense of your own child, you need to re-examine it.  This is why I no longer coach my oldest son and am still noodling around how much to coach my youngest son.  Again, they have done nothing wrong.   Just like someone in a role at a company, a former spouse or partner or teacher in a classroom, sometimes it is not the right or best fit for both parties.  I will pick up here tomorrow with some more thoughts as through all this and going forward; I am hoping to share the same gift with my kids as in our opening quote from Jim Valvano.

“Don’t cry because it’s over, you better give thanks because it happened.”

I have written in this space many times over the past few months about my son’s youth football team I coach and how special this season has been.  This weekend, win or lose was our last game as we played for the New England Regional Championship.  As I talk about to kids and adults when it comes to competitive sports, when you want to play for a championship at any level, once you start playoffs, one -  and only one - team’s season does not end in a loss.  That is the champion. 

In our case, we first had to win our state so 16 teams competed for that title and we came out on top, everyone else’s season ended in a loss if they made the playoffs.  Then we played another states champion and won so their season was over, ending with a loss despite the great year they had including their state championship.  Finally, this past Saturday was the New England championship where we played another state champion who happened to have a bye into this game after winning their state.  Despite our 11-0 record, 9 shutouts and confidence, we got what we had delivered so many other times – an old-fashioned whooping – 31 to 0.  Oh yeah, it was humbling as a coach and parent and very sad for so many of the kids, many of which have lost at most 3 games in the past 3 years with most losing only once in that span.

As I sit here today, I (and all my coaches) naturally play back the game in our head and think about what we could have and should have done; it’s what coaches do.  But it does not last long as I have to catch up on a ton of things I have been putting off the last 3+ months since our first practice on August 3^rd.  We had one heck of a season with so many ups and so few downs.  It truly was a special year where kids learned the game and had fun doing it.  They set goals and achieved them all.  Never once did we talk about a Regional championship, our goal was to get to the State final and see what happened.  The wins were great as despite what anybody tries to say or boast, winning is important when it comes to building chemistry and inspiring kids and in youth sports, the parents. 

For the last few years, I have followed the Double-Goal Coaching model of Positive Coaching Alliance and is has made all the difference in the world.  In its simplest terms, the Double Goal Coaching model stresses that winning is important but so is honoring and respecting the game.  And never do you sacrifice the 2^nd goal of honoring the game to achieve your first goal.  I am proud to say, my coaches and I did this the entire year and what is even better, met some coaches along the way who follow a similar model.  Yes, there will always be coaches, programs and parents who do not get it or do it the wrong way but as long as we continue to share this visions and build our villages, these people not honoring and respecting the game are getting  smaller and smaller.

As I kick back today, I think back of the great season we had and although the loss still stings, the kids forgot about it within hours after the game as some stayed and watched other games and others went back to the hotel swimming.  They learned some great lessons along the way and hope my fellow coaches and I contributed to that.  I know they taught us a lot too and this is what is should always be about.  Thank you to the 2009 4^th Grade Pelham Windham Razorbacks for allowing me to be part of a truly special experience that created memories that will last forever.

Finally, speaking of memories that last forever, Happy Birthday to someone who is responsible for so many great experiences in my life, my wife Tracy.   I am not sure who said our opening quote but I got it from a great slide show that shares so many inspiring words and lessons.  If you want a copy of it, send me a note.

“I love argument, I love debate.  I don’t expect anyone to just sit there and agree with me, that’s not their job.”

I was tempted to have out opening quote be George Carlin’s Seven Dirty Words routine but this is somewhat of a family space and I also have clients who read it; so even though they all know how immature I can be, I still have that somewhat professional side I keep.  The bad words I am talking about are regular words that for some reason have taken on a negative connotation, especially in the work place.  There are many but here are four that come to mind: Confrontation, feedback, debate and challenge.  (Click Here)to see what has prompted this as I just read how a young football captain has encompassed these four words as a result of the New England Patriots dramatic loss this past week to the Indianapolis Colts.  I hope you will agree that Jerod Mayo is everything you want in a leader, on and off the field.

Why is confrontation such a bad word?  I actually recommend it in and out of the office as it is the best way for people to share their feelings and deal directly with differences of opinions.  These days, too many people avoid confronting inappropriate behavior or something they do not agree with and either let it fester or worse, snipe behind the other person or groups back with gossip or web postings.  Mayo heard a former Patriot and mentor, Tedy Bruschi criticizing his coach as well as making assumptions about the current team and as a leader, did what he is supposed to do and stood up for his team and confronted the person who had comments about them.  He also did it in a professional and respectful manner.  Nicely played.

Feedback is one of my favorites as you ask anyone who has a job reporting to someone else and when they hear the word “feedback”, it immediately creates anxiety.  For example, “Bob, can you come by at 1pm today, I want to give you some feedback after talking to our client”.  Bob immediately thinks of the negative and not the positive, it is human nature these days.  Feedback, when given well and taken well, is one of the greatest teaching tools out there but too many make this a glass half-full word.  It does not always have to be stuff we need to improve, it should be about the things we do well so we keep doing them or even do the superior.

I love debate – period.  I think it is healthy and exciting.  One of my former Managing Director's once told me I should have been a litigator because I loved to debate anything and everything.  I did not do it to be a thorn like some people do, I did it because I rarely take things at face value because people tell me so or it is the way something always has been done.  Most Choices I make in my life are done with my gut and trusting instinct.  Not solely but if it comes down to this or that, I trust my gut.  Can’t say I am always right but I am more often than not.  Unfortunately, either because people are insecure or cannot back up their argument (even through intimidation sometimes), when faced with a potentially good healthy debate, one side either goes off on tangents or starts to make it personal and go on the attack, forgetting what the topic was about.  Then it becomes and old-fashioned pissing contest where neither side wants to lose and usually both sides end up losing.

Finally, we have the word challenge which can make us think back to medieval times and a duel, joust or other type of contest.  Again this implies there must be a winner and thus a loser.  But challenge is not a bad word as it can be an inspiring word.  Jonas Salk was told he could not cure polio and people challenged him to find a cure.  He did.  Larry Page and Sergey Brin were challenged when they thought they could revolutionize the Internet by creating some sort of search engine.  Despite all the naysayers and institutions that turned them down for financing, these two 20-somethings responded to that challenge and founded Google.

I guess my message today is to not turn potentially inspiring words into negative ones.  The easiest thing to do in our life is to walk away when something seems difficult.  Confrontation, feedback, debates and challenges can all lead to great things if we go about it right way; kind of like a young Jerod Mayo did with his mentor.  What is ironic, this is the same way Tedy Bruschi would have responded if in Mayo’s exact shoes 15 years ago.   If you are leader, you should encourage your people and teams to follow the words of Margaret Thatcher from our opening quote – they are not bad ones.

“Lenny Clarke, holy shit! What, did your Bowflex get lost in the mail? How's it possible to have a coke problem and a weight problem at the same time? What are you snorting, confectionary sugar?”

I had heard on the radio two days ago that comedian Kevin Knox passed away earlier this week after a long battle with cancer.  I had seen him once or twice in comedy clubs around Boston and thought he was great.  That was my only encounters with him as I did not know him personally.  I knew over there past few years he was sick as comedian Lenny Clark and others were helping raise money for him.  (Click Here) to read his obituary as just as I suspected, Knox had a love for life and making people happy.  You will also read how he was there for others which to me is always the sign of a great person.

I was not sure what today’s entry would be about as after last night, I want to truly start making this space more about positive stories and inspiring hope and faith.  The reason is not due to Knox, although reading about him today further solidified this direction but rather I just finished (in one day) another book by one of my favorite authors, Mitch Albom, titled “Have a Little Faith”.  For those who may not recognize Albom’s name, he wrote the sensational “Tuesday’s with Morrie” among others. 

Like Tuesday’s with Morrie, Have a Little Faith is also a true story based on Albom’s time spent with 2 very different men of faith.  It is hard for me to explain or even describe but when I read Albom’s works, I feel as if he wrote it entirely for me and my life.  He captures how I feel, the questions I have and even talks about the Choices we make in our lives.  Finally, he made reference in his book to the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life” which I use all the time in workshops.  Do yourself a favor and pick up this book and if for some reason you do not enjoy it, let me know and I will take it off your hands as it makes great giveaways at workshops and speaking engagements.

God Bless you Kevin Knox as you spent your life making others laugh and feel good.  Based on the amount of friends and people who cared about you, it was clear you died a very “rich” man.  You seemed to live your life on your terms and one of those terms was doing right by others as highlighted when you filled in for a charity event to help a youth hockey team and gave the appearance fee to the other comedian who could not make it.  Today’s opening quote was from another comedian in their circle, Nick DiPaolo who took a nicely played shot at Knox’s friend, Lenny Clarke; which I thought was just a great line, nothing else, just a chance to laugh.  I would write for Kevin to rest in peace but somehow I think he is having a ball and not resting while catching up with many people.

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

New England, especially its sports talk radio and water coolers are buzzing about Sunday’s Patriots/Colts game and the decision of Pats coach Bill Belichick to go for it on 4^th and 2 from his own 28 yard-line while holding a 6 point lead.  The Pats failed to convert and the Colts scored and won the game.  A majority of people you talk to but especially those on talk radio are saying it was a terrible decision by Belichick and it cost his team the game.  I disagree and think it was the best Choice at the time.  It is always easy after the fact to criticize a Choice once you see the outcome and although I disagree with the plays Belichick called; his decision to go for it was the right one in my eyes.

Bill Belichick has forgotten more about coaching sports, especially football, than just about everyone that reads this space, including yours truly.  You do not achieve the success he has at this level without making your share of mistakes and also by not taking chances.  Remember, Belichick’s first coaching stint with the Cleveland Browns was deemed a failure and correctly so as the team was dreadful.  But he learned form it, moved on and now has 3 Super Bowls to his credit.  How easy it is for so many who have never taken a chance in their life for any reason, even trying new food for example, to sit back with a know-it-all attitude and criticize others.  Welcome to New England sports.

I tell everybody both professionally when working with clients and personally when coaching kids – “If you are not making mistakes, you are most likely not trying hard enough.”  If the Patriots converted that play, nobody says anything the days that follow except what a gutsy call it was and how brilliant Belichick is/was.  But when the outcome is not the desired one, here come the vultures and narcissists.  Give me a break.

Life is About Choices and then dealing with the ramifications of them.   The Patriots are still going to make the playoffs and may face the Colts again.  Will Belichick make a similar decision; who knows?  But like great leaders, he will make a decision and his troops will hopefully follow it, no questions asked.  It’s those that want a leadership role that do not want to make the tough decisions we should be talking about every day; God knows there are enough of these people in a variety of positions.  Belichick is similar to Michael Jordan, who gave us our opening quote, when it comes to what needs to be done at the most crucial point in a game as you may not win them all; but you will win most.

“It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.”

Another black mark for politicians and this time it may not even be because a Senator could not keep it in his pants although inebriated at a convenience store at 4:30am leaves one to wonder.  (Click Here) for a guy who just does not get it and when I see his smug look and way he answers questions, he makes me wish he gets the wake-up call or beating or both that he deserves.   If Anthony Galluccio still has a driver’s license, it may only be a matter of time before he kills someone else or himself due to his selfish and stupid Choices.  As you will see in the article, the senator has two previous accidents involving alcohol.  This is two too many!

We are way too easy on crime, delinquents and those who willfully choose to break the law in this country.  Last week, on Veteran’s Day, some juvenile delinquents decided to topple head stones at a cemetery.  I do not want to hear that they were kids, these were teenagers who know better and fair or unfair, I will question the parents on what the heck they have been doing the last 10 years with these punks.  As a teen, if I ever was involved in something like this or even in the area, I would ask to be put in jail or shipped overseas instead of facing my old man.  The only thing worse would have been having to face my mother.

Vandalism is a Choice, plain and simple and it is such a cowardly, scumbag Choice.  Even in my town, there are idiots spray painting stop and other street signs.  Why?  To brag about it and get the attention some so desperately crave?  One can try to educate these people or even try to reason with them but sometimes, people who make piss poor Choices like Senator Gumbatz above and the teens arrested in Kingston for the cemetery vandalism need nothing put strict punishment – period!  It must be enough to not only deter them from making Choices like this again but also send a message to others who are faced with a similar Choice.

Some just don’t get it and our time, energy and resources could be better spent on people who obviously care more about others than these selfish groups.   These people need to find some values which like our opening quote from Roy Disney, will help with their future decision and Choices.

"It's easy to have faith in yourself and have discipline when you're a winner, when you're number one. What you've got to have is faith and discipline when you're not yet a winner."

As I have written about many times, I coach many different sports at the youth level although I also coached a few years at the collegiate level when I coached a Women’s NCAA Jr. College basketball team about 15 years ago.  I love all sports and coaching in the Big 3 (Football, Baseball and Basketball – these are the big 3 for me) and right now, we are still playing football as my son’s 4^th Grade team that I coach won again this past weekend.  We now play in Connecticut for what will be the New England Final and for all extensive purposes, the National Championship as no other regions are sending teams to the national tournament.  Thus whoever wins between us and Connecticut, I and others are considering the National Champion.

As you can see from the above, the team I coach keeps winning and all is good in this youth football world.  For just about every coach, as long as you win, the problems seem to stay at a minimum or even out of site.  But in every contest, for as many winners that you have, you have an equal amount of losers and when coaches lose games or have losing seasons; the critics come out… everywhere.  This is the same for youth coaches as much as it is for professionals.  One big difference is that a youth football coach usually only has about 30 families to deal with.  A professional coach, let’s say Bill Belichick (coach of the New England Patriots) for example, he has the entire country scrutinizing him.  Last night, Bill Belichick made one of the biggest Choices in his professional life… and it did not turn out good for him or his team.

For those of you who do not follow NFL football, last night the New England Patriots played the Indianapolis Colts in the biggest game of the year for both teams.  With the Patriots up by 6 points with a little over 2 minutes left in the game, Belichick was faced with a 4^th down and 2 yards to go from his own 28 yard line.  He faced a decision, a Choice.  Does he punt the ball away and let one of the all-time great quarterbacks, Peyton Manning, have another shot at his exhausted defense?  Or does he go for it and try to make the first down and seal the victory?  Belichick went for it and his players came up short?  The rest was an afterthought as Manning and the Colts scored the winning touchdown with 10 seconds left.

Such is the life of a coach.  The Patriots convert and Belichick is a super-genius and gutsy and everyone loves him and sings his praises all week.  They fail, like they did and the vultures come out and everybody has an opinion.  You see football is a great analogy to Life where everything comes down to Choices.  You choose the right defensive play against the other team’s offensive play and you will usually do better and vice versa.  A typical game has hundreds of Choices; our Life, quite a few more.  Like both situations, preparation is very important and either way, we must always deal with the ramifications of those Choices.  As for Belichick's Choice last night, I agree with it as his defense was toast and I have no doubt that Manning getting the ball back would have scored.  What I do not agree with are the play calls on both 3^rd and 4^th down but that is another topic.

So what do Belichick and the Patriots do now?  That’s easy; you pick yourselves up, dust yourselves off, band together and learn from the experience.  Football and Life go on as they both are always about Choices.  As for another coach I have written about before, Josh McDaniels; I have to give my close friend John props as he called it last month.  (Click Here) to read that entry and check out his comment from then (and my humbling reply today).   Our opening quote by Vince Lombardi is something Belichick should recite to his team.

“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”

I doubt with my SAT Scores (although I did get a 700 in math, it was that damn verbal section I could have done more better at), I would have been able to get into Harvard University or did I have any connections that could have pulled some strings.  I think that path in my life worked out quite well as I realize more and more that Harvard, as well as many other institutions of “higher learning”, and I do not share the same views on many issues nor keep similar circle of friends.  I am sure there are many people that have gone and currently go to Harvard and are solid, upstanding members of society who also give back a ton.  But there are some others, like anger-management professor Skip Gates and former governor of New York Eliot Spitzer, who I have written about frequently in this space, that seem to capture more of the headlines.   

(Click Here) to read about Harvard’s latest Choice to bring Spitzer in to talk about of all things… ethics.  There is no truth to the rumors that Octomom is coming in next month to talk about birth control and Roger Clemens next semester to speak to Harvard’s athletes about not using performance enhancing drugs.   It never ceases to amaze me how people or institutions can justify or put a spin on things.  I am not even sure if they do this out of arrogance or ignorance.  Having Eliot Spitzer talk about ethics in any capacity is like me giving a lecture series on home improvement or weight lifting. (Editor’s Note – to get this joke you would have to know Lou but for those who don’t, his tool box consists of a hammer, a tape measurer and a screw driver with 4 heads.  As for working out, his treadmill is now a clothes rack in his room and just go to his website www.EnlivenFirst.com and the pictures will back it up).

Ethics is one of those things like integrity or pregnancy or even class.  For example, do we now start saying, “Fred has some integrity; he did not embezzle money from his company during the holidays”.  Or how about, Tiffany is still a virgin and a good girl; she is only a little pregnant”.  And finally, “Mel has some class, he always says excuse me when he farts and burps in church.”  The bottom line is either you have it or you don’t and when it comes to ethics, Eliot Spitzer should not be preaching to any audiences but if Harvard is paying, and we know they did, he is going.  I wonder if disgraced Illinois Governor Rod Blowhardavich or whatever his name is, was available.

Sad but true, we live in times of spin doctors where I can accept that all brides and all babies are beautiful as everyone has some good qualities.  But trying to serve me chicken shit and tell me it is chicken salad insults my “non-Harvard” but much more useful “Life” education.  Our opening quote from legendary college basketball coach John Wooden says it best.

“See, you don’t have to think about doing the right thing if you’re for the right thing then you’ll do it without thinking.”

I have watched a lot of TV the last few days as my entire family got nailed with the flu bug sweeping the country.  My wife and I have sinus infections on top of it and my boys have each missed a few days of school.  One story caught my attention on Veteran’s Day and it validated something I think we all know but easily forget with the many bad Choices people make.  There has to be some good in everyone at one time or another.  (Click Here) for the story that gives us hope that deep down, people truly want to do the right thing.

Let me be clear, I am not praising these criminals for giving a military guy back his wallet and money.  As we see in the story, they had no problem mugging a rabbi and others.  But something caused these guys to make a different Choice when they realized that the guy they were robbing was someone who served their country.  Not to sound corny, but it inspired them to do the right thing which was a great thing for this victim.

We live in a crazy world with some people who make truly disturbing Choices as the news is full of these stories.  We may never know why a military person turned on his own or people try to abduct kids as these people clearly have demons.  I have to believe that people are not born evil and something along the way makes good people snap and go to a dark place.  At last with the story above, we know that deep down, people can still be inspired to do the right thing.  It’s finding out what will do it for some that is the big question.

“Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets.”

I just got back from a memorial service for a guy in our town who passed away last week after a year long battle with lung cancer.  Bob Blinn and I were friends but not hang-out friends.  We knew each other through town but specifically to our involvement in Little League.  For the past 20 or so years, Bob has been actively involved in it and for the past 15 I’d say, he was the President and face of the organization.  I never met anyone who gave more time and put in as much physical work at the fields as Bob did.

I walked into the Church today thinking to my self “I hope the church is this full when it’s my time.”  Like any memorial service, memories are shared of someone who has left us and it is always touching.  There were stories of Bob’s mischievous childhood and teen years that had people laughing.  Then his family members spoke and everyone was moved to tears as his 18 year-old daughter spoke about how much her dad meant to him and how thankful she was for all he did for her and the great times they spent together.  The priest talked about how Bob was a friend to all and one of Bob’s friends talked about how Bob was gruff on the exterior but would help anyone at anytime especially if it was for the kids.

Finally, we heard how he spent 35 years working for the same company until the company closed this past summer.  It was this same dedication that Bob put towards his family and our town, especially our Little League.  He will be missed but he left his mark at Muldoon Park and as I left the Church, I reminded myself that we should not wait until people leave us to tell them how much they mean to us in our lives.  To my family and friends, thank you for being a part of Enliven Daily and my life.  I found an opening quote from Yogi Berra I thought Bob would appreciate.  Rest in peace Bob and as your friend Ed put it perfectly, God probably has you organizing baseball up there right now.

“Being perfect is not about that scoreboard out there. It's not about winning. It's about you and your relationship with yourself, your family and your friends. Being perfect is about being able to look your friends in the eye and know that you didn’t let them down because you told them the truth. And that truth is you did everything you could. There wasn’t one more thing you could've done. Can you live in that moment as best you can, with clear eyes, and love in your heart, with joy in your heart? If you can do that gentleman - you're perfect!"

Yesterday, I had the privilege to coach twenty-six 9 and 10 year old boys as they played for their first state championship in sports.  The Pelham-Windham Razorback 4^th grade team took their 9-0 record into  the state final against a tough Salem, New Hampshire Rams team who gave us our best game of the year back in September.  The atmosphere was nothing like any of these kids had been in before as they were playing in a stadium with a huge crowd.  Both teams had kids fighting the flu-bug that has swept our area and both teams came out wanting to win.  But only one team can be called Champion and it was our team.

This was our goal from Day 1 as with any venture, you need to set a goal or goals.  Two weeks ago, my oldest son saw how quickly it can end when his team was upset in the first round.  We told our boys back in August that we would work all year to get to this point and needed them to put in the effort, put in the focus and above all, want to hit; after all, it is football.  They did just that as only one team, this Salem Rams team, was the only team to score on them all year while the offense put up 30+ points each week.  All kids contributed and no kids complained. 

Parents?  Always another story as some still do not get the concept of team sports and want everything about their child.  But as my coaches and I always remind each other, we are here for the kids, not their parents and the smiles on their face after the final horn sounded yesterday was what we as coaches work so hard to try to deliver.  We still have more games that can be played as we play the Massachusetts state champion and if we can beat them, will face Connecticut to see who can be crowned the New England Champion.  Win or lose, these kids have been perfect this year, just like our opening quote from Friday Night Lights.